My Canadian Permanent Residency — A Story of Social Capital

I have been meaning to sit down with my first piece for a long time now, and although Monday night at 11 was definitely not the time I had in mind — but here we are.

My Canadian story took birth on a late autumn evening in Dhaka, Bangladesh when I opened a letter from the University of Toronto (Mississauga) confirming my place in UofT’s batch of 2017. Feelings of joy overpowered my conscience as I rushed to Maa (Mum) and Baba (Dad) with the news I had just received. The response was expected, they said they were so happy for me, and just hoped that I get my visa, as they looked at each other in belief.

Some few months later, it happened. My fees were paid, the paperwork I filed (saving $2000 in consultancy fees) confirmed my visa, and my flight was booked. Another two weeks later, my best friend was picking me up from Toronto Pearson and before long I had dropped my bags at my campus residence in Mississauga and trekked across Toronto to reunite with some old friends who at the time were spending their lives at the Village at York University.

A few lines to shed some light on my four year journey at UofT and the six towards my residency; needless to say it was much more than what’s below.

• Year 1: Confused between integration and preservation I managed to fail 2 of my main courses, suffered 1 panic attack, tanked my credit score to 350, met 50 new friends, joined 3 circles, turned a 2 year relationship upside down in 12 weeks, and lost my grandfather.
• Year 2: Guilty as charged — with a new home and new lifestyle I focused more on things I liked to read than the things I had planned or told to. Consolidated my circles, started to understand who I truly am and learnt how to say No. Along the way I got my first job as a server at the college cafeteria which I also managed to throw away for being too nice to my friends — sharing food that was supposed to be thrown away instead.
• Year 3: Started to like the new me, found another job as a server at my neighborhood bakery and started to meet people who are like me. Befriended professors and “listened to understand, not to reply”. Nominated to run for a seat at UofT’s Governing Council and lost the running due to a lack of hard work. Saved up enough money to go on my first trip to New York with a dear friend, and begged a professor to put me into an internship program even though I didn’t have the grades at the time to do so; fell in love again, fulfilled my dream to do a study abroad program in Berlin, lost my grand mother and almost lost my best friend.
• Year 4: Confident, not arrogant — got into the internship program and landed a job in public service, moved from a big house with friends to a tiny room with a view. Understood differences within religions and similarities beyond cultures. Figured out why I came to university and fell in love with policy. Fixed the damage I had caused to my grades in my first year; contributed to a few circles and handed an Honors degree to Maa and Baba.
• Year 5: Moved to Downtown Toronto. Turned down a big job offer to start at a small one 12 days later. Delivered food on a bike after 5 and ushered at fundraisers after 9. Got a new offer at the same place that trumped that first one, and consolidated my friend circles once again. Waved goodbyes to the friends who built me up, and hellos to ones who had turned around. Fell out of love, but understood why for the first time.
• Year 6: Blessed as a senior at a new organization, dreamt to travel the world, met new people and recalled my confusion between integration and preservation, as I looked towards my younger friends to teach me more.

Seems pretty dry doesn’t it? But I’d like to shift your attention on a few words that stand out when we look at the years combined — friend(s),circle(s) and people.

The art of living the Canadian dream wasn’t based on the social benchmarks that we preconceive on to ourselves but rather the relationships that help us get there. I want to share the things I realized over time, with people who may find themselves in all the shoes I filled during those years.

Knowledge sharing does not need a piece of paper or an instagram account. I think knowledge sharing occurs when we start to understand the wealth each new person we meet adds to our life; when we have a Tuesday afternoon conversation (heated or not) that makes us think about our life on Thursday night and when we are under a world of stress but still manage to make time for someone else.

It’s draining sometimes, and I don’t get a lot of alone time, but I have learned to be better at balancing time for each group of people I know, including the ones I had left behind — those are the easiest ones, cause we always pick up where we left off.

When I say consolidated circles I simply mean — understand who belongs where in my life for certainly there’s a place for everyone; even the ones I haven’t talked to recently.

I am currently juggling a lot of things, and the news of becoming a permanent resident started the clock for me to share this piece with the world. I wasn’t trying to get into academic specifics of social capital, but I tried my best to explain what I think of it through the stories I shared with you today.

Agnostic by definition, I planned to preserve parts of the culture I was brought up in, so I host an annual dinner/lunch every year after Ramadan for the people who made this Canadian dream a reality, hoping they make the connections I did when I used to be invited as a stranger to places I never thought I would be to.

• Year 7: Fell in love again for the last time, befriended Baba, trying to befriend Maa, embraced the parent-child relationship shift; supported the truth and understood why people lie, became a permanent resident (saving $4000 in consultancy fees again) and survived a roll-over. And my life right now? Consolidating my circles yet again while trying to inspire new ones; understanding the art of missing old faces at the workplace and valuing Saturday mornings inside the coffee shop over 4 am hot-dogs outside.

“The purpose of leadership is to use the past to represent the future to the present.”